apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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