I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
