so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
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