on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The feeling are messing with the penis
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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