1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
They have beer where we have blood.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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