These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
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he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
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We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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