Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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