I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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