Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
