so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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