Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
