how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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