Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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