She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
try to milk me bitch
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
