we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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