Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
