Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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