Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
