just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
we're so committed to being not committed
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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