So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
