There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
