Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize