I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize