if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
