i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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