I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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