my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
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I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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