i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
