you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My ass is underappreciated
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize