went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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