After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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