do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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