I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
tonight lets celebrate not being married
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
