im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
