i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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