Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
