smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
