You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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