I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
