when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
