My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
