covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
