the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
