Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
