I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
