HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
