Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
