i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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