trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
