She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
