I heard we made out
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
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no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
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She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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