im drinking this country out of the recession.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
