Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I CAN MOONWALK!
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
