Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
