No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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