I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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