Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
