I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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