all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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