Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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