Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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