I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
