Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
